


The Preacher's Son

by Graygirl8163



Category: Homestuck
Genre: A surprising amount of fluff, Abuse, Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, almost suicide attempt but not really, gay babs, homophobic christians, sad babes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 10:37:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9177592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graygirl8163/pseuds/Graygirl8163
Summary: This is based on Tom Goss's "Son of a preacher man." A lot of it is me ranting about how Christians where I am from act.  This by no means is meant to bash anyone's religion. Dave needs love, I got a new laptop and decided to write a fanfiction one-shot. If I forgot to tag something feel free to message me.Dave doesn't realize he's in love with Karkat until its too late. He realizes later, he doesn't mind.





	

Dave never had the best childhood. Most of it was trying to impress his adoptive brother/biological father. Of course, it never worked. No matter what Dave did it was never good enough. If Bro was drunk, mad, even slightly upset, hell even excited Dave got beat. According to Bro, he was a mistake, a nuisance, only alive for the money from the state. In public, however, they were a happy family! A big “brother” raising his little brother to the best of his abilities. Behind closed doors was an entirely different story. Bro beat him to be the best in school, sports, anything and everything had to be the best at. Once Dave told Bro he thought he liked boys and he was beaten until the sun came up and he wasn’t sure how long he had been laying a sobbing heap on the floor. It had to be hours, hell maybe even days. All he knew for sure is he had to like girls and the word “faggot” had been scratched into his skin. He slowly went from being a sarcastic, funny, boy with a bright smile and sparkling red eyes to a quiet almost mute teen. He was scrawny from lack of eating but had some muscle from their strife’s. This is what Dave had grown up with. This is what he thought was a normal way of showing love. When he had mentioned it to a few friends when he was younger things did not go as expected. He was excited because it was his first ever sleepover! He brought his ratty pajamas and a small stuffed cat he took with him everywhere. Everything went well except for the weird looks he got from the other boys. The big shocker was when he asked: “When does your father come to strife?” One of the parents heard and immediately confronted bro who insisted they were just wrestling. When he got home he has beaten five ways to Sunday and that ended his short-lived social life. Most of his days were spent drawing, walking around the park, listening to music, trying to get a job without bro noticing, anything to keep himself away from home and away from Bro. He had even managed to scrounge up enough change to take the SATs and put out a few college applications. If Bro didn’t find them he could be out of there by the start of the next school year. Bro and Dave were invited to a neighborhood barbecue at the preacher’s house, and that’s when Dave met the boy known as Karkat Vantas. Bro only went to keep appearances but Dave couldn’t keep himself from hoping that boy was there. He was the son of the preacher and Dave hated the butterflies he got around him, hated how he held onto the few words they spoke together, hated how anytime he saw him he tried to memorize the small details of his face like he would never see him again. In all honesty, in Dave’s life, there was a very real chance every meeting would be their last. Dave had tried to convince himself that he felt this way about girls too, but he had never even glanced at a girl twice none the less be lovesick. Karkat, when Dave learned his name all he could think was “cute,’” to him was the definition of stunning. He wasn’t short nor tall, more of an average but still a few inches shorter than Dave himself. He had this dark brown hair that Dave wanted to run his hands through. He had this caramel skin that to Dave was a godsend, and dark eyes he could stare at for days on end. Of course, when he came home from their first meeting he locked himself in his room and sobbed until he passed out. He wasn’t gay, he couldn’t like guys. He liked girls! Chicks not dicks. He couldn’t be in love with a guy bro would kill him. And yet, here he was head over heels for the preacher’s son.  
The only way Dave could see Karkat without raising suspicions was to pretend he found our lord and savior Jesus Christ. So, that’s what he did. Any chance he got he was at the church. Sunday school? Dave was there. Regular service? Dave was there. Holidays? He was there. Vacation bible school? Hell, he was a counselor. He even went to week long church camp. Bro was loving this, still didn’t stop his wrath every night. If anything, it made it worse. He pushed Dave to try and get with a girl from the church and by now Dave just told him she was taken. At said church camp, he was paired with all boys. Turns out, church camp is a gay teenagers dream. If you don’t count the constant sermons on how being gay is a sin, but a small price to pay. Well, a small price to pay if you don’t give a shit about liking guys. That was not the case with Dave. After every new lesson, he hated and questioned himself even more. Maybe the preacher was right. Maybe he was just confused. These thoughts swam in his head every single night. Until the preacher’s son paid him a visit. You know the boy he had been pining over for months without realizing. Yeah, that preacher’s son. He was awoken by Karkat sitting on his bed whispering to him and shaking him slightly. With his mind, still heavy with sleep, he didn’t even realize they were leaving until they were at the playground far enough away from the dorms not to be seen. Dave blinked and sat quietly on the swings as Karkat started to talk. He told him about his life and how he had seen Dave coming to the services for a while. He said he was cute and saw how he stared when he thought Karkat wasn’t looking. Dave immediately denied it and panic quickly set in. His breath quickened and his chest tightened. No one can know. No one no one no one no one. He’s going to die. Karkat was going to call him a queer and tell his father. His father would tell Bro and Bro would kill him. But then, something surprising happened. It wasn’t like in the movies where he was kissed by a boy and suddenly the secrets of the universe were revealed. In all honesty, Karkat would have got punched if he tried. Instead, he hugged him and told him to breathe. His voice was oddly soothing as he repeated for Dave to breathe, that he’s safe, that someone is here for him, that it’s okay to cry. And that is exactly what he did. He sobbed into Karkat’s chest clinging to him for dear life. They had to be there for at least half an hour. Karkat held him the entire time, rubbing his back and keeping his hair out of his eyes as he got everything out. When he finally calmed down they just sat there, on the dirt of an old playground holding on to each other. Dave didn’t know it at the time but he was comforting Karkat as much as Karkat was comforting him. That was the first time in Dave’s life he felt genuinely loved. They were attached at the hip for the rest of the week always sitting away from the group and talking quietly. Dave looked forward to their nightly trips to the playground is what made everything worth it. They would sit on the swings and stare at the sky and tell each other everything. Karkat learned Dave loved photography and archaeology, and Dave learned Karkat was planning to leave their little town and never look back. It was just him and his father. His mother had passed when he was younger and his brother had left as soon as he got the chance. The only thing keeping him there was school and in a few months, he would be off to college. Dave found himself hanging onto every word and craving every touch. The more they talked the harder and deeper he fell. It was terrifying and exciting all at once. Karkat wasn’t rushing anything. He respected Dave’s request not to be touched. On their last night, they sat on the swings in a peaceful sort of quiet, and Dave surprised even himself. He reached out and laced their fingers together. Karkat didn’t mention it, he just squeezed Dave’s hand and swung softly. In this moment, with this simple gesture, Dave was truly happy. He wasn’t sure how long this would last, or if they could hide it, but as of right now, Dave Strider knew he was in love with Karkat Vantas.  
Dave figured when they got back home Karkat would forget about him and Dave would go back to hiding from bro and trying to convince himself he likes girls. That is not at all what happened. Karkat would come over and visit, they would go on walks, talk all night, and sit by each other at all the services. It was like a dream for Dave. Not to mention with Karkat always with him Bro couldn’t afford to lose his temper at Dave. It was mid-summer when the Vantas family hosted another barbecue. The Striders were, of course, the first to be invited. Dave spent everything he had saved to buy a new outfit to hopefully impress Karkat. He still wasn’t sure about liking guys but no one made him feel like Karkat did. He spent extra time in the shower, snuck some of bro’s cologne, and combed his hair. Of course, his shades were left on. Dave nervously fiddled with the sleeves of his shirt as they pulled up at the Vantas household. He looked over at Bro before quickly getting out and going to find Karkat. Karkat was in the backyard while everyone else was in the front. Dave couldn’t help himself but think Karkat looked beautiful with his messy hair and the way he chewed on his bottom lip while thinking. Karkat was playing some mobile game and didn’t notice Dave until he heard the quiet and raspy greeting from Dave. Karkat’s head snapped up and he broke into a grin. Dave smiled back while Karkat looked all around making sure no one could see what they were about to do. What were they about to do? Hell, if Dave knows but he would trust Karkat to the end of the world. Karkat gently grasped at his wrist, eyes scanning Dave’s face for any hint of concern or fear. When he was positive he wouldn’t upset Dave, he started running off into the woods on the edge of Karkat’s house, tugging Dave along. Dave laughed as they ran and laced their fingers together instead of him being pulled. Karkat led him to a group of trees slightly bent and perfect to walk on. They spent the rest of the day chasing each other through the trees, skipping rocks in the small secluded lake, and shying away from kisses. “The party is going to end soon,” Karkat said from where he and Dave were sitting. They were sitting on a sturdy bent over tree, their hands loosely held together between them. The sun was just starting to dip beneath the horizon as they sat in silence. Their legs were swinging lazily in the summer breeze. “I know.” Was Dave’s simple reply and like that the conversation was over. Dave turned towards Karkat and bit his lip. He thought he was ready. A kiss would so make this worth it. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t ruin this. Karkat was special and deserved to be treated as such. He must have been staring because the only thing he heard through his inner monolog of doubts and gayness was; “Can I kiss you?” and like that, his world shattered. He couldn’t trust his voice right now but damn sure couldn’t let Karkat think he was rejecting him. Instead, he nodded and squeezed his eyes shut as Karkat leaned in. He wasn’t sure what he expected. He wasn’t struck dead where he stood, there were no fireworks behind his eyes, and the secrets of the universe weren’t suddenly revealed to him. In fact, it was awkward and sloppy, teeth clanking together, hands itching to grab the other but not sure where to go. It was their first kiss. It wasn’t movie like, or picture perfect like they had rehearsed it for hours on end. It was just two awkward teenagers falling for each other and no movie, no matter how high ranking the actors are or how much their production value is, could capture this moment. This was something only the two of them would share and somehow that fact made it all that more intimate. They were a giggling mess when they pulled away, Dave flushed a deep red and Karkat touching his lips. Both wanted to try again but neither wanting to go for it. They both tried once more before they got up to leave. Their noses bumped together and Dave’s shades pushed against Karkat’s face uncomfortably. Karkat laughed softly and gently pushed them up onto his head and helped lead Dave into a much better kiss if he does say so himself. There was this warmth that came with it. It spread throughout his body and Dave figured this was better than any high he could ever hope for. They walked back to Karkat’s house their hands brushing together but never actually grasping for each other. Dave knew he would get chewed out when he got home, but right now he was on cloud nine and no one in this whole wide world could bring him down.  
Everything was amazing. Karkat made him happier than anyone else could. They would spend the summers days together, some days talking, some just enjoying the others company. They would steal small kisses and touches whenever they could. It made Dave’s skin buzz with excitement and fear. He loved it. He loved knowing that Karkat was his and he was Karkat’s and no one could take that from them. Every sermon he’d hear the preacher on his soapbox telling how homosexuality was a sit, but it didn’t sting as much anymore. Now he was prideful that the preacher’s own son loved him to the end of the earth. One night Dave was lying awake going through the pictures they had taken. As soon as Dave shyly admitted he loved taking pictures but just had an old polaroid camera, Karkat took every chance he got to pose or take pictures with Dave. While he laid there lost in thought Karkat had already opened his window and grinning at him. He jumped when he realized Karkat had saw him. He saw Karkat had his bike and immediately knew where they were going. He scrambled to throw on some slippers and grab the tattered skateboard. He shimmied out of the window Karkat helping him not to fall. Karkat waited for Dave to hold onto his seat before he started peddling down the road. Dave loved moments like this. When the world was still, when it was as if they were the only two alive. He felt like he could do anything if he had Karkat by his side. Dave was so lost in thought he hadn’t even realized they had made it to a beaten down park far away from either of their neighborhoods. Dave luckily came down from cloud 9 with enough time to stop himself before he ran into the grass and made a fool of himself. They made their way to the swings in silence. They both sat down the chains creaking with the weight. Dave reached for Karkat’s hand first. Which took them both by surprise. Dave wasn’t one to make a move. He wasn’t vocal about how much he loved their moments together. He didn’t make any motion to initiate a kiss. It’s just how Dave was. Recently, though, he had been trying more to tell Karkat what he was feeling and god he felt so much better. When Karkat told him halfway through his speech to stop and then said three little words that made Dave’s head spin and his skin heat up. At first, it made Dave uncomfortable and scared that maybe this was a dream, maybe Bro had finally taken it too far and he’d wake up and go back to be the scared lonely boy he was. When Karkat first said it, he didn’t say it back. Nor did he on the second, third or fourth. Karkat knew it was hard for him, that the commitment scared him, and he understood. He gave Dave time, he gave Dave space, and even if he never uttered those three little words Karkat knew he’s always meant it. Dave stared at the sky as they swung. This was one of the quiet nights and neither minded the silence. Dave was deep in thought, he loved Karkat. He needed to tell him, but he couldn’t. If he says he loves him, if he agrees to be Karkat’s officially that meant change. That meant Dave couldn’t just go with the flow and stay with their no labels allowed relationship. He knew for Karkat it was a big thing. He knew the longer he waited the more Karkat doubted. He didn’t want to lose him but he was scared. What if this changed everything. What if when he said I love you and agreed to the word “boyfriend” everything changed. He liked how they were, he liked their spontaneous adventures and stolen kisses. It was comfortable and familiar. At the same time, there was a small voice that told him, change is good. It told him that while yes it was terrifying it was also good. It meant he was loved. It meant that someone would always be there for him, and he realized, he was perfectly okay with that. As they sat there on those swings Dave spoke those three words. The three words that meant he was letting Karkat into the deepest parts of his mind. The three words that made him realize that while he was far from okay, with Karkat, he thinks he could get through this life. So much said with just the three little words: “I love you.”  
Dave was sitting on the front lawn of the church teaching some of the smaller children how to make flower crowns. He had just finished showing them how when Karkat broke away from his conversation and ran past him. Dave just barely remembered hearing him say “tag!!” and touching his shoulder before he was out of view. Dave excused himself and scrambled up after Karkat. He ran behind the church and looked around not seeing Karkat anywhere. He turned towards some bushes when Karkat jumped out after him. They both laughed and giggled as they fell to the ground. They wrestled for a second before Karkat had Dave pinned and they were both a blushing giggling mess. Dave wrapped his arms around Karkat’s neck and for a few seconds, they just sat there staring. They both started leaning in and it wasn’t long before they kissed. It was beautiful until suddenly Karkat was suddenly yanked back. Dave’s eyes snapped open only the see Karkat being screamed at by his father. Karkat was backing down he was screaming right back and then everything seemed to have slowed down. Dave saw the preacher raise his hand and Karkat’s quick tongue not stopping once. He saw as his hand came down and Karkat’s head snapping to one side and the shock written across his face. Dave lunged at the man only to be picked up by his neck. His eyes went wide and he clawed at his hand as the preacher’s thumbs pressed into his windpipe. The blood was rushing into his ears as his vision went fuzzy around the edges. He could just hear what he was saying: “faggot…. Don’t come near my son…. he will not go to hell along with you… do you understand me, boy?!” Dave was dropped to the ground as he wheezed and choked. The moment of relief didn’t last long. He was yanked by his collar being forced to walk to the preacher’s office. He looked at Karkat who was still swearing and damning his father to hell despite being pulled by his hair. They were forced to sit in his office as they were screamed at. Dave was panicking, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t move, he didn’t even know what was being said. Bro came in and Dave knew tonight would be worse than anything the preacher could ever hope. He yanked Dave by his arm and out of the door despite Karkat’s screaming. When they got home he was tossed on the ground. As he was shoved to the ground his head banged against the ground and he thinks he heard something crack. Did he know whether it was his skull or the floorboard? Nope, either way, if he managed to survive this it would hurt like hell in the morning. Bro was screaming and all Dave could hear was vile things: queer, homo, fag, fairy. The words were swarming in his mind as bro kicked and punched. He thinks a knife was brought out once or twice. It lasted until bro tired himself out and Dave was barely breathing. By some miracle, he had managed to get himself off the cracked blood-stained floor of the shitty house they shared after hours of laying in his own blood and deciding he couldn’t do this anymore. Dave took a shaky breath and scrambled to his room careful not to wake Bro. He grabbed a rope he had hidden in his closet, already tied to do the job. He grabbed a box out of his closet and quietly went to the garage. He stood on a shaky chair bro had used for his card games. He tied the rope to a beam on the ceiling as tight as he could. He took a breath and sat on the chair slowly opened the box. Inside where the dozens of pictures they had taken. Dave’s hands shook and he dropped the box. He swore and tried to pick them up only to notice the writing on the back of everyone. Karkat had written on the back of every picture things he loved about Dave. It went from their first actual date, you have the best smile I hope I get to see it more, the time they snuck off to the beach for the weekend without so much as a whisper to anyone else, you’re like the crab whisperer!! You’ll have to show me your ways ;P, all the way to when Dave said I love you on the swings, I’ll always love you, Dave. He let out heart-wrenching sobs and held the pictures close. He loved Karkat he couldn’t do this. He would live no matter what it took. He looked outside only to see it was already morning. Hot tears ran down his face as he scrambled for the door. He limped and ran out the door to the church. Fuck this town, fuck Bro, fuck the church, fuck everything. He was Dave motherfucking Strider and he deserved to goddamn live. A mother held her children back when he went past, Dave didn’t care. He ran inside panting and leaning against the door frame when he saw Karkat, his face was as just as tear stained as Dave’s. A group of the respected men of the church were around him their hands on his shoulders or head as his father prayed for his son to be cured. For his son to be normal. Dave screamed for Karkat and took a deep breath as he ran down the pews the church goers gasping and watching in shock. When Karkat registered, what had happened he ran to Dave and they hugged each other as if they were clinging for dear life. They were both sobbing for a second just holding each other. When they had finally collected themselves they pulled back only to move in for another kiss. Dave could taste the tears but he didn’t care. He loved Karkat and Karkat loved him. They pulled away both with a grin from ear to ear and held hands. They both turned and ran out both giggling as they flipped off the world. Karkat slowed so Dave didn’t injure himself as they both left. While everyone was still in shock over what happened, they gathered anything they would need and hopped on the first bus away from this dead-end town. They didn’t know where they were going, where they would end up, or who they would meet but what Dave did know is he was in love with Karkat Vantas.


End file.
